


Turn of Phrase

by writingbutunpublished



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, College, M/M, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-24 10:16:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 20,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7504462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingbutunpublished/pseuds/writingbutunpublished
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Academic rivals John and Alex find other ways to release the tension between them but is it really just physical or is something more brewing between them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Anyone Alive with a Sex Drive

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first time writing gay fan fiction about the founding fathers so...I hope you enjoy. I'm going to try to keep this updated once a week and I will let you know if it's going to be longer.

It was almost like they planned it, except John was sure he would remember planning to make out with his nemesis. And surely it would be somewhere besides the 3rd floor bathroom of the political science building. It all seemed fairly unlikely and yet here he was, the bathroom counter digging into his ass as Alex Hamilton (douche bag) kissed all the air out of his lungs. John gripped Alex's shirtfront and Alex had John's face trapped between his hands.

This had started out innocently enough. He and Alex had crossed paths in the restroom after one of their more spirited class debates. Neither of them spoke because...well because they didn't really like each other all that much. Nevertheless, after a few tense seconds of standing side by side, washing their hands, they turned to each other in unison.

Before John knew what was happening, Alex's still wet hands were on his face, and their lips met in a heated kiss. John didn't remember how he had ended up pressed against the counter. He also didn't remember reaching up to take two fists full of Alex's well-worn Slytherin t-shirt.

Alex bit down on John's bottom lip, causing him to whimper. Alex started at the sound, pulling back abruptly and straightening his t-shirt. After a half furious, half terrified look in John's direction, Alex fled into the hallway, leaving John leaning against the counter with his fingers pressed to his lips. If is face weren't still damp from Alex's hands he would think the whole thing was some sort of strange hallucination. He didn't move until someone else came into the restroom and shot him a curious look.

As soon as he got out into the hallway he pulled out his phone and toyed with it for a few moments then put it back in his pocket. There was no way he could tell his friends about this...they would tease him mercilessly about 'sleeping with the enemy.' He wasn't sure he could explain it to himself anyway. He sighed and kept walking out of the building.

Alex rubbed his hand down his face and began to pace in his apartment. The lack of sleep had finally caught up with him. Yeah, that had to be it. He desperately needed to relieve some stress and had just momentarily acted contrary to his senses to do so. It's not like Laurens was complaining…He recalled the little whimper that had escaped the other man and groaned loudly. He collapsed onto the couch and buried his face in his hands.

This is how Angelica found him a few minutes later. "What's wrong with you?" she asked and plopped down next to him.

"Don'twannatalkaboutit." He mumbled.

"Well can we talk about dinner? Because I haven't eaten since 11:30." She said.

"Chinese?" he said, lifting his head.

"We had Chinese last night." Angelica said.

"Mexican?" He suggested. Angelica shook her head "I went to the taco truck for lunch."

"Unbelievable." Alex mumbled. "You pick then."

Angelica smacked him in the face with a pillow before reaching for the phone. "Ham and pineapple?" she said.

"Fine." He said.

"Seriously, what is wrong with you?" she demanded as she waited for someone to pick up at The Pizza Shack. "I haven't seen you this despondent since that Thomas guy beat you in debate."

Alex scowled. "That debate was rigged." He said. "The judge was his debate coach!"

"Oh, for fuck sake, Alexander, focus." She said but then held up one finger before speaking into the phone. "I'd like to place an order for delivery, please." After a pause she went on. "Two large pies, one with sausage and black olives and one with ham and pineapple." After another shorter pause she thanked the order taker and hung up.

"You have 30 minutes." She said, shifting on the couch until she faced him. "Explain."

Alex looked at his childhood friend warily. He knew there was no way out of it now. She wasn't going to take 'leave me alone' for an answer and if he lied she'd know. He took a deep breath. "You know John Laurens?"

"That little freckled Puerto Rican guy that you're obsessed with?" Angelica said with a tilt of her head.

"I'm not obsessed with him, he's an intransigent, loud-mouthed, know-it-all." Alex argued. "We can't stand each other."

"Whatever." Angelica said, waving a dismissive hand. "What about him?"

"I kinda kissed him in the bathroom today." Alex said quickly and cringed.

Angelica's expression was blank for several seconds before her whole face seemed to widen. "You what?!" she shrieked. "Why?"

"I don't know!" Alex said loudly before reaching for a pillow and burying his face in it.

"How do you not know?" Angelica asked, tugging at the pillow. Alex lifted his head and looked at her, his expression completely miserable.

"I just don't." he moaned. "One minute we were awkwardly washing our hands and the next I had pressed him against the counter. I was probably possessed."

Angelica threw her head back and laughed. "Oh my god this is not funny, Ang!" Alex shouted.

"Yes it is." Angelica gasped. "It is super funny and Eliza owes me ten bucks."

"You bet on me?" Alex deadpanned.

"Technically I bet against you." Angelica replied. "I said that you would eventually nail him because he's as smart as you are and intelligence is basically your sexuality and Eliza rolled her eyes and pointed out that Laurens might not even be into guys and I said I wasn't sure it would matter and then we struck a wager."

"First of all, you are both horrible people and second of all, I did not nail him." Alex huffed. "We just kissed for like a minute. And third of all, it will never happen again. I hate him, remember."

"Did you do the lip biting thing?" Angelica asked with a knowing look. Rather than answer, Alex pressed his face into the pillow again. He could practically hear Angelica's eye roll as she said. "You are totally going to nail him." Alex blindly groped for another pillow and tossed it in Angelica's direction. She dodged it easily as the buzzer sounded through the apartment.

"Pizza time, dude." She said, heading for the door. "Where's your wallet?"

"Fuck you, Schuyler, pay for your own pizza." He said. The fact that his voice was muffled by a throw pillow took most of the sting out of the comment however. As did him ultimately throwing his wallet in the direction of her voice and saying "Give them a tip."

…

John was laying on his narrow bed, tossing a baseball in the air, listening to the conversation around him.

"I don't know why you guys don't just go home with me for spring break." Lafayette said. "We can drink! Legally!"

"Because me and Laurens don't have the money to go to fucking France." Hercules said good naturedly.

"Bitch, did I say anything about you paying?" Lafayette scoffed.

Herc shook his head. "Nah, man." He said. "You already try to pay for everything. If I can't make my own way, I'm not going."

Lafayette rolled his eyes and tossed a nerf ball at John. "Laurens, what is wrong with you, mon ami?" he said.

"Nothing." John said.

"You're awfully quiet for nothing." Herc said.

John held firm to his determination to never tell anyone what happened between him and Hamilton so he sat up and shrugged. "Just wondering if Lafayette can afford to buy himself some game." He said with a grin. The comment earned him another nerf ball.

"I'm French, dude." Lafayette said with a laugh. "I don't need game."

That put an end to their curiosity for the moment and they continued their banter long past when they all should have gone to bed.


	2. Lothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, thank you guys for all your kind words and Kudos. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the first!

"Corporate interest have no place in politics!" Alex hissed. When he got up to go to class that morning he had told himself that he was going to ignore Laurens. That was, of course, before he had interrupted Alex's explanation of a theoretical plan to get a tax bill through congress.

"That'll never work." John had said in a sing-song voice. It escalated from there.

John rose out of his seat and began to walk toward Alex as he replied. "Whether they have a place in politics or not, they're there and you aren't going to make any changes if you ignore them." He said.

By the time John had finished he was standing inches from Alex, his eyes alight with something...Oh my god, Alex thought. John was playing devil's advocate to rile him up on purpose. What an asshole. Alex squared his shoulders and straightened up to his full height. He was disappointed to find that he was still shorter than John. He didn't let that stop him, however.

"I'm not ignoring them." He growled. "If you would let me finish a damn thought once in a while—"

"Gentlemen, that's enough." The professor said calmly, cutting Alex off. "If you can't treat each other with civility then you have no place in this class." He gave them each a stern look before addressing the rest of the students. "That's all the time we have for today. Do the reading."

This statement was followed by a flurry of activity as everyone packed up their things and began to file out of the room. Soon the only two left were Alex and John, still glaring at each other.

Suddenly, John surged forward. For a second, Alex thought he was going to hit him but John just grabbed Alex by the upper arm and dragged him toward the door.

"What are you-?" Alex began before getting cut off again.

"Shut up." John snapped. After a quick check to make sure no one was in the hallway he began dragging Alex once more until they reached the bathroom. He shoved the smaller boy inside and quickly followed. Before the heavy door had even finished closing, he had spun Alex around and pressed him against it.

Alex made a quiet "Unf." Noise before John's lips descended on his.

"I hate you." Alex muttered against John's lips.

"Hate you more." John shot back and pressed against him harder, aligning their hips and thrusting roughly. Alex groaned and pulled back. John shifted his attention to Alex's neck, leaving his mouth free which was a mistake.

"Obviously enough that you refuse to agree with me on principle." He said breathlessly. "Who does that?"

"You." John said, kissing his way back up Alex's neck. "I'm just the only one that can hold their own against you." He finally found his way back to Alex's lips, kissing him again with bruising force, when they felt someone push on the door.

The two sprang apart as if a land mine had gone off between them as the stranger entered the bathroom. Before the newcomer could process the scene he had walked in on, Alex and John fled the room one right after the other.

Hours later, John was sprawled out on his bed, his nose buried in a book, trying to forget about Alexander Hamilton. It worked marginally well for the first 15 or so minutes, his tattered copy of Fahrenheit 451 pulling him in with its familiar story and comforting smell. Unfortunately, his mind began to wander to what had happened in the bathroom, not once but twice now. He thought about Alex's hands on his hips, the groan that came out of his mouth when John had pressed himself against Alex, the fire that had filled his eyes when John had challenged him in class.

That last one gave him pause. Alex was an insufferable know-it-all. An attractive know-it-all, John admitted to himself. And a fantastic kisser, but that was all. He spent a few more seconds ruminating over this before his phone rang. He checked the caller ID and sighed.

"Hey, dad." He said.

"Hello, John." His father said stiffly. "I was calling to see how school is going."

"Fine." John said just as stiffly. Most conversations with his father were like this.

"How vague." Henry Laurens said, his voice pinched. "What is it you're screwing up you don't want to tell me?"

"Dad…" John said, running his hand down his face in frustration. "I'm not screwing anything up. I told you, it's fine."

Henry made a huffing noise but otherwise offered no reply. "I was calling to let you know that I plan on running for governor this year. I'm going to announce my candidacy tonight at the St. Jude benefit."

John was surprised. It wasn't like his father to make such a call personally. He usually had his mom call him. "That's great, dad. Good luck." He said mostly sincerely.

"I am going to be under a lot of scrutiny during all this and I wanted to make sure that you exercise discretion with your…lifestyle." Henry sounded horribly uncomfortable as he said this.

"My lifestyle?" John asked angrily. "Dad, I've told you a hundred times—"

Henry cut him off. "Don't start, John." He said firmly. "I have put up with your activities since high school, but I am serious. A gubernatorial candidate cannot afford to have a skeleton like you in their closet. If you do anything that reflects badly on me there will be consequences."

John shuttered. "Yes sir." He said.

"Goodbye, John." Henry said and hung up the phone without another word.

John dropped onto the bed and rubbed at the spot just below his sternum and took several shallow, loud breaths. He could hear his father's voice echoing in his head and he struggled to drown it out.

"John?" He jumped at Hercules's voice. For someone so big, he moved so quietly. John never heard him coming in.

"Sorry, man." Herc said. "You look pale, what happened?"

"My dad called." John said. He offered no further explanation but Herc nodded.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked.

"Not really." John said and sat up. "Let's do something tonight."

"Like what?" Herc said.

"The Colonist?" John suggested.

"Hell, yeah." Herc said with a grin. "I'll call Laf."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot make this website leave my italics alone, among other things. if you have any of you lovelies have any advice for better formatting PLEASE take mercy on my poor soul and pass it along. I would be so grateful.


	3. Have Another Drink My Dark Eyed Beauty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all your advice and nice comments they make my day! Also a big thanks to my beautiful beta hpfanonezillion if you like The Hunger Games I HIGHLY recommend you check her out. I hope you guys enjoy the new chapter!

"Ang, you're such a teetotaler, have a real drink!" Alex said.

"Moscow mules are delicious." She said. "Besides, you've had like one beer and you're already yelling."

"That's because Sam Adams is a drink for men!" he emphasized the last word by slamming his mug down on the table.

"Yeah, and you are a scrawny teenager with a big mouth." She said rolling her eyes. Alexander was no longer looking at her however. He had fixed his eyes on the entrance to the bar.

Angelica followed his gaze to the group who had just walked in. Two tall muscular boys, one with a shaved head and one with a full head of curly hair that he had pulled back into a ponytail, and another, much smaller boy with his curls flying free and freckles all over his face.

"Oh shit, that's him, isn't it?" Angelica said in a stage whisper.

"Yes, now please try not to draw attention to yourself." Alexander said, slumping down in his chair and focusing on his mug.

"Too late." She said, nudging him. "One of them is coming over and he is hot!"

Alexander looked up to see Ponytail making his way to their table, eyes fixed on Angelica. When he got within earshot he opened his mouth, no doubt to say something charming, but Angelica cut him off before he began.

"My name is Angelica Schuyler. Buy me a drink?" she got up and walked toward the bar without looking to see if the boy followed.

He did, however, trailing behind her with a wag of his eyebrows in the direction of Laurens and his friend who had by now begun to make their way to Alex's table.

"Your friend stole my friend." He said to John.

"I think it was the other way around." John said.

"Fair point." Alex said. "But you have a spare." he gestured at the boy to John's left.

"Hey, I'm nobody's spare anything." The boy protested.

"Herc, this is Alex Hamilton." John said, shooting a look at the boy that Alex couldn't decipher. "Hamilton, this is my roommate Hercules Mulligan."

Alex stuck out his hand and the two shook hands firmly. "The Alex Hamilton?" Hercules asked. This was met with a sharp elbow to the ribs.

Alex covered up his confusion by focusing on Herc's clothes. "Nice jacket." He said.

Hercules beamed. "Thanks." He said. "I designed it."

"No shit?" Alex said, his eyes widening.

"No shit." Hercules said. "I'm here to get my MBA so I can start my own clothing line."

"That's awesome!" Alex said and he really meant it. Design had never been where his passion was but he could tell that Hercules had a talent for it and he admired talent. "Do you have pictures of some of your other stuff?" he asked.

"Yeah, man." Herc said and pulled out his phone.

John had been watching this exchange with interest. This was a whole different side of Alex than he had ever seen before. He was so attentive and charming and it was clear he was making an effort to make Herc feel like the only person in the room.

While John and Herc huddled together looking at clothing designs on Herc's phone, Lafayette returned with Alex's friend, the two of them beaming at each other.

"Laf, this is Alex Hamilton." Herc said as he took the pint of beer that Laf offered him. When John was given one as well, he knocked back half of it in one gulp.

"Gilbert Lafayette du Motier à votre service." He said and offered his hand to Alex.

"Ravi de vous rencontrer." Alex said in fluent French. John's eyes widened. He had heard Laf speak French so many times you would think it wouldn't affect him anymore but he wasn't attracted to Laf (much to his friend's disappointment, mind you). Alex on the other hand…he listened to the conversation with much more interest than before.

"Tu parle français?" Laf asked with a tone of surprise and that was the last thing John was able to understand.

After that, Alex and Laf began speaking rapid-fire French. It went on for several minutes, long enough that John had finished one pint of beer, poured himself another from the pitcher and was halfway through that by the time Alex's friend interrupted them.

"As much fun as it is to listen to you two compliment each other in a foreign language, I think you're boring the rest of the table." She said. "Besides, neither one of you fools have introduced me." She turned to John and Herc and smiled. "Angelica." She said.

"John." John said with a nod.

"Hercules Mulligan." Herc said, winking at Angelica, earning him a scowl from Laf.

Alex and Laf switched back to English and the conversation began to flow. John couldn't imagine anyone being a bigger hit with his friends. He was telling stories from his high school debate team days that had them all rolling with laughter, John included. There was a point in the evening where Herc was showing Angelica his designs and Laf was making moon eyes at her so no one was paying John or Alex any mind.

John leaned into Alex's space. "You speak French?" he said softly.

"Yeah, and Spanish, Mandarin, and German." Alex whispered back. "Why?"

John bit his lip. "We should go to the bathroom." He said, looking Alex dead in the eye.

It took Alex a moment to get it but finally he nodded and the two of them slipped quietly away from the table and headed to the men's room.

As soon as the heavy door closed behind them Alex was being backed into a stall. He nearly tripped when the toilet hit the back of his calves. John hooked his foot underneath the door and slammed it closed while Alex reached behind him and threw the lock.

"What's gotten into you?" Alex asked, smiling. He was beginning to like being this close to John.

"You." John said and kissed him.

"Me?" Alex asked, the sound muffled against John's lips.

John pulled back and looked at him, his eyes narrowed. Alex grinned and took John's face between his hands. Taking a step so that John was pressed against the door, Alex tilted John's head a little and kissed him slowly. Alex leaned against John as he deepened the kiss, taking one hand and cupping the back of his head, curling his fingers into John's thick curls.

John sighed and wrapped his arms around Alex, pressing the palms of his hands into Alex's back in an effort to bring him closer. Alex shuffled forward until he simply couldn't anymore, enjoying the taste of beer on John's tongue and the feel of his hair.

After what must have only been a few moments but felt like hours, they broke apart, both breathing heavily.

"We should go back." Alex said, although he hadn't let go of John. He had just dropped his hands to John's waist and was rubbing his thumb back and forth on a bit of exposed skin between the hem of John's shirt and his waistband.

"Yeah, they're probably wondering where we are." John said.

"I doubt they're wondering at this point." Alex said. "We've been gone a while. They aren't stupid."

John laughed and reached behind him to unlock the door. They walked out of the bathroom, careful not to touch as they walked back to the table.

It was quiet when they sat down. Until Lafayette looked Alex right in the eye and spoke. "Vous devez travailler sur votre technique de coiffage, mon ami."

Alex's face registered panic for a few seconds before he realized that Laf eyes sparkled with amusement not disdain. He gave Laf a playful shove. "Fuck off, Gilbert." He said.


	4. It's a Bad Idea, Me and You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this took so long. I have had some issues with my vehicle that distracted me, but I am going to start trying to write ahead from now on so hopefully there will not be any more delays. Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy the chapter. Please check out my wonderful beta HPfanonzillon for lots of awesome Hunger Games, Mortal Instruments, and Bloodlines fan fiction!

In class a few days later, John's passions were running high and for once it wasn't Alex's fault. "Oh my god, an insanity plea isn't a Band-Aid you can stick over a difficult case call it won. You have to have evidence." John said.

Samuel Seabury straightened and cleared his throat. "The client killed three people and chopped them up into pieces. Insanity is the most likely successful defense."

John sighed loudly, running his hands through his hair. He took a breath to speak again but before he could someone else spoke up.

"You said that already." Alex said loudly. "If you aren't prepared to explain yourself maybe you should keep your mouth shut."

Samuel merely glared at Alex and tried to continue, looking down at the sheet of paper in his hand. "As I was saying— "

"Please don't read." Alex hissed. "John has made some very valuable points and you won't even look at him."

Samuel looked flustered and tried yet again to go on but John cut him off. "The client is probably insane but do you know how hard that is to prove in a court of law?" he asked taking a few steps so that he was closer to Alex.

"He's right." Alex said coming to stand beside John. "Besides you are completely ignoring this shady eyewitness the prosecution has come up with. Discrediting him will be way easier than proving insanity anyway"

"And if you can cast doubt on the witness then you can cast doubt on their entire case." John added.

They all turned when they heard a slow clap coming from the front of the room. "Good work gentlemen." The professor said. "I believe you've just won your case."

There was a smattering of cheers and clapping throughout the room before the professor called an end to the class and everyone started to pack up.

They both headed wordlessly to the bathroom. Alex pulled John into the first stall and grinned at him before cupping the back of John's head with his hand and pulling in for a kiss.

"You were brilliant." Alex murmured. "Do you have any idea how big of a turn on that is? It was all I could do not to jump you right there in front of everyone." He pressed himself against John who had a bruising grip on his hips. John sighed before gently pushing on Alex's chest.

"Alex, stop." He said.

Alex immediately pulled back and raised a curious eyebrow at him. "What's wrong?"

"I—I like you." John stammered.

Alex laughed. "I know; I like you too." He said. "I thought that was why we ended up in bathroom stalls everywhere we meet."

"No I mean…" John huffed and pushed his hair off his forehead. "Before, it was…attraction, and we were just messing around but after the other night…" he paused, taking a deep breath. "I think we could really be friends and I would hate to mess that up with messing around."

"So, what do you want to do?" Alex asked, looking John right in the eye.

"I think we should just…be friends. If that's all that happens, great. If it leads to more…well, we can cross that bridge when we come to it." John said all this as if he was prepared to be laughed at or cruelly rejected and that broke Alex's heart a little.

"So, you want to slow things down." Alex said thoughtfully.

"Exactly." John said. "What do you say?"

"I say you have a deal, Laurens." Alex said and stuck his hand out.

John took it and immediately wished he could kiss Alex. This was going to be harder than he thought, but he was determined not to mess it up like he did everything else.

"Come on, let's go get lunch." Alex said and led the way out of the bathroom.

When they got into the hallway, John pulled out his phone. "You text Angelica and I'll text the guys and we'll meet in the commons." He said.

"Excellent idea." Alex said with a grin.

Twenty minutes later they had all gathered on a patch of grass under a huge oak tree with their lunches. "You have that look on your face, Ang." Alex said to his friend. "Who did you tear apart this time?"

Angelica huffed, "Some dude in my biology class now knows the difference between cosplay and cultural appropriation, I hardly think I tore him apart." She said. Lafayette snorted and she smacked him on the arm.

"What?" he asked innocently.

Angelica rolled her eyes but said nothing.

They ate in silence for a while, just watching the foot traffic in the commons. It was Hercules who broke it.

"Did you guys hear about the Fully Armed Battalion concert?" he asked

"Oh my God, I love them!" Angelica said excitedly. "When?"

"This weekend." Said Herc. "They're going to be at the Rochambeau Club."

"That's an over 21 club isn't it?" Angelica asked, slightly deflated.

"Yeah, but I know one of the bus boys, he can hook us up." Herc said.

"That little guy I walked in on you making out with that one time" John asked with a smirk.

Herc blushed, "Yeah, him." he mumbled. "Anyway, you guys in?" there was a chorus of agreement and nodding and a "Definitely!" from Angelica.

"Cool." Herc said. "I'll text him later."

They spent the rest of lunch chatting about their favorite FAB songs which led to Angelica pulling out her phone and playing several bootleg recordings from different concerts and about other bands they wanted to see live. When they finally went their separate ways, Angelica and Alex walked off together.

"So what's the story with you and John?" she asked as soon as they were out of earshot of the others. "You two kept giving each other weird looks. I know something happened."

"Just the opposite actually." Alex said. "He wants to slow things down and try and be friends first."

"Wow, that sounds serious." Angelica said. "You haven't been just friends with someone you were interested in since…well me."

"Yeah, well…" he trailed off and Angelica wasn't sure he was going to go on for a minute. "I really like him." he finished softly. "Besides, you seemed to have survived it."

"Yeah well I don't really do romance." She said with a wink.

Alex laughed and gave her a playful shove. "Don't you have a class to get to or something, punk?" he asked.

Angelica rolled her eyes. "I'll see you at home." She said and they walked off in different directions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please feel free to comment! Comments make my day!


	5. My, My, How Can I Resist You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thank you for your comments and Kudos! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! A special thanks to my amazing beta HPfanonezillion. Please check her out!

The next few days were filled with talking about the concert. Angelica insisted on taking Alex shopping the day before, which he deeply resented.

"You are not wearing that stupid Harry Potter t-shirt." She said.

"I was not planning on— "he began but Angelica cut him off.

"You wear it three times a week." She said flatly.

"I do not." He grumbled.

Angelica rolled her eyes. "We're going shopping and that's final." She said. "We'll invite Peggy along." She added.

"Okay fine," Alex grumbled. "But I can dress myself."

"Sure you can sweetie."

They met Peggy at Macy's and she immediately drug him off to the menswear section.

"Alright Obi Wan, Qui-Gon," he said nodding to each of the girls in turn. "Make me over."

"You are such a fucking nerd, no wonder you need help getting laid." Angelica said with a teasing smile.

"Wait, you're trying to get laid?" Peggy said with interest. "Who? When? What did I miss?"

"John Laurens." Angelica supplied.

"Who's John Laurens?" Peggy said, full on pouting now.

"He's a guy in one of my law classes and I am not trying to get laid." Alex said, the tips of his ears turning pink. "We hated each other…then we started making out a little…then we got to know each other…and now we're friends."

"Oh my god, we are going to find you something to wear then we are going to lunch and you are going to tell me every detail of this." Peggy said in a rush. "You're also paying for my dessert." She hated being left out of things.

Alex laughed. "Deal." He said and shook Peggy's hand.

About an hour later he stood before the mirror and frowned. "I don't know guys." He said. He was wearing a pair of khaki slacks and a pale blue button down shirt under a pullover. "I look like a douche."

"You do not." Angelica said, smacking him. "You look hot."

Peggy nodded in agreement. "I'd do you." She said.

Alex tugged at the sweater. "I just don't know."

Angelica huffed and pulled out her phone, quickly snapping a picture before Alex could duck. And started tapping her screen.

"Ang, what are you doing?" Alex said.

"Showing Eliza." Angelica said. "And Laf. And Herc. Since you won't listen to me and Peggy."

"I hate you." Alex said.

"You do not." Angelica said.

Peggy stood and brushed primly at her skirt. She began pushing Alex back toward the dressing room. "Change back into your clothes so we can pay for this and go find you some shoes. And Pinkberry. We need Pinkberry."

Alex reluctantly complied. As he stepped back out Angelica's phone went off. She stared at the screen for a few seconds before smiling. "Eliza says you look good enough to eat, and Herc said, and I quote 'Smooth AF'" she grinned at him before turning her phone in his direction so he could see the texts. "Laf said something in French that I won't repeat in a public place."

"Okay fine." Alex said. "But I'll wear shoes I already own and we are not getting Pinkberry, I want real food."

As promised, Alex told Peggy the whole story over lunch. "I agree with Angelica; you're definitely going to nail him." she said when he was finished.

"Margarita Anne Schuyler!" Alex said, appalled.

Angelica laughed and held out her fist. Peggy bumped it with her own and both of them opened their hands and wiggled their fingers, making an explosion noise.

Alex just shook his head and called for the check. They parted ways, Peggy hugged both of them tightly before she left. Angelica and Alex spent the ride home singing along to the radio.

The next night Angelica pulled in front of the boys' residence hall with Alex in the passenger seat. When they walked out, Alex thought he was going to swallow his tongue.

John looked good. He wore combat boots with grey corduroy pants and a soft looking blue sweater all of which fit him like a second skin. His hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail and he was smiling widely.

Alex didn't trust himself to speak to, or even look at, John as they all piled into the back seat of the car and headed to the club. They waited outside for nearly an hour, Angelica fused to Lafayette's side for warmth.

The longer they stood there the closer Alex found himself getting to John. When they were standing shoulder to shoulder Alex began humming his favorite Fully Armed Battalion song. After a few seconds, John joined him, flashing him a brief smile. They stayed like this until the doors opened and they streamed in with the rest of the concert goers.

Once everyone was inside, they were packed together like sardines. For the sake of practicality, or so he told himself, John pressed himself against Alex's side. When the band walked out, the room exploded with noise that didn't stop for nearly two hours.

At some point, John threw one arm around Alex and they began to jump together. Alex looked over at him with his eyes bright, sweat gleaming on his brow, and his lips slightly parted. John was sure that he could feel his heart over the bass vibrating in his chest. About halfway through the concert, Laf lifted Angelica onto his shoulders so she could see over the sea of heads and raised cell phones.

When the concert finally ended, they all headed back to the car, talking loudly, still all smiles. When they made it to where Angelica had parked, she looked up, her eyes wide.

"Hey guys you should just stay over!" she said. "Slumber party!"

There was a chorus of cheers at this suggestion and they all got in and headed to the apartment. Once there, Alex immediately called and ordered enough Chinese food for everyone. They chatted about their favorite parts of the concert over pot stickers and kung pow chicken but once their stomachs were full and their adrenaline wore off they began to flag.

"I'm sleepy, come cuddle me." Angelica said to Laf, nudging him in the side.

"Your wish is my command." He said and stood, scooping Angelica up in the process and carried her giggling all the way back to her bedroom.

Herc had already fallen asleep on the couch and was snoring softly. Alex turned to John and smiled at him sleepily. "Wanna crash in my room with me?" He asked.

John hesitated and Alex frowned. "You don't have to." He assured him quickly. "I wasn't trying to…" Alex trailed off and bit his lip.

"No, I know." John said softly. "I was just…deciding." He finished lamely.

"Okay." Alex said but he didn't move, presumably to wait for his decision.

Finally, John stood up and held his hand down to Alex. "Let's go." He said.

"Yeah?" Alex asked.

"Yes." John said. Alex took his hand and they headed down the hall.


	6. Castle on a Cloud

Alex woke up slowly. He could tell the sun had risen but that was all. He shifted in his bed, adjusting the position of his pillow, when he noticed the weight of another person on the other side of the bed. Had Angelica fallen asleep there? It was then that he came fully awake and remembered.

He opened his eyes and smiled faintly at the sight before him. John Laurens's freckled face was inches from his. It was so incredibly tempting to kiss him awake, but John had said he wanted to just be friends and Alex was going to respect that if it killed him.

Instead he reached out and brushed a curl off John's forehead. "Rise and shine, Freckles." He said softly.

John groaned and scrunched his nose. "No," he grumbled sleepily. "Don't call me Freckles."

Alex laughed. "Sorry, it's just they are my favorite feature." he said. at this John finally opened his eyes.

"In general, or just on me?" he asked.

"I'd like to have some kind of chill at all and say in general but I'm afraid I never thought of them one way or another until you." Alex said with a grin.

"Wow," John said, a teasing light coming to his eyes, "You are kind of a tool."

Alex raised his eyebrows and shifted so quickly that John didn't even realize what he was about until he found himself pinned underneath Alex. "I'm a what?" Alex said, his eyes gleaming wickedly.

Half enjoying getting Alex riled up, half curious what he would do if he continued, John grinned. "I said, you're a tool, Hamilton. A sappy one."

It was then that Alex began to mercilessly tickle John's sides, causing him to squirm and laugh breathlessly. "I'M A WHAT?!" Alex bellowed again over John's laughter.

"A bright young man!" John said, shoving Alex's hands away.

Alex grabbed John's wrists and pinned them over their heads. "That's better." he said.

Their faces were once again inches apart. And as John stared into Alex's eyes, he wasn't sure if being friends was the right road. Alex's gaze shifted from John's eyes to his lips and John was sure Alex intended to kiss him. He was just as sure he was going to let him, but someone cleared their throat loudly from the doorway, causing both men to flinch and pull away.

"What do you want, Ang?" Alex said. his voice sounded shaky, even to him.

Angelica acted as though nothing earth shattering was happening. "If you two are finished, there's breakfast in the kitchen." she said , and sashayed down the hallway.

"Well that was embarrassing." John said as Alex rolled off of him.

Alex laughed as he sat up. "That is not even the 10th most embarrassing thing Angelica has walked in on me doing." he said.

John snorted. "I'm not sure I want to know." he said.

"They make for pretty good stories." Alex said. "You usually have to get me drunk first though."

"Now, you drunk would be interesting." John said. by this time they had both started to make their way to the kitchen where the promise of breakfast, and probably a healthy dose of teasing, awaited them.

As predicted, Herc wolf-whistled as they stepped into view. John gave him a shove. "We slept," he said. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

Herc gave a disbelieving grunt and Laf leaned forward. "You mean to tell me that the two of you slept in a room together and nothing happened." he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Even if something did, I don't kiss and tell." Alex said primly, reaching for one of the donuts that sat in the middle of the table. He winked at John as he did this, earning him another snort and the whole room burst into laughter.

When it died down Angelica began talking about the concert and it seemed that at least for the time being they had successfully dodged the subject.

The group of them spent the rest of the day watching movies and playing video games and after that weekend, John and Alex became nearly inseparable. While their disagreements in class continued, there was a distinct change in the passion of their arguments. It became clear to most that they argued more for the thrill of arguing with each other than because they fundamentally disagreed.

"Why do you assume you're the smartest in the room?" John said loudly in the middle of one of their more spirited debates.

"Because I usually am." Alex said and winked at John.

John had to flex his jaw to stop from smiling and scoffed instead. "That attitude may spell disaster in the courtroom, Hamilton." he said.

Alex made no effort to hide his own smile. "Be the ball, Laurens," he said. "You have to believe you'll win or you've already lost."

John opened his mouth to reply but Dr. Franklin held up a hand to interrupt. "Mr. Laurens is right, Mr. Hamilton," he said. "You can't be too cocky, especially in criminal proceedings. The jury may read it as sleazy and you've lost them." Alex fought the pout that threatened to crawl across his face as John openly gloated behind Dr. Franklin. "That's all the time we have for today." the professor said. "I'll see you all on Monday."

To his credit, John waited until they were out in the hallway before lording his victory over Alex. "I totally owned you, dude," he began but his phone rang. His brow crinkled and he dug it out of his pocket.

Alex watched his face fall when he saw the name on the screen and frowned himself. He then carefully averted his eyes as John answered. "Hey, Dad." he said. Alex could see the tension build in John's body as his father began to speak.

"No, I just got out of class." he said. Then a beat passed. "Of course I'm going to class, what else would I be doing?" after another beat he sighed. "Believe it or not even us homos can control our sinful libidos long enough to learn something." There was a longer pause, during which John slow-motion punched the wall, tapping it with is knuckles. "

I'm not in a mood, I just get tired of getting treated like crap. Did you want something, or did you just call to needle me?" John said with a huff. Alex realized that he had clenched his jaw and his hands had curled into fists and tried to relax. "Fine, I'll be there." John said shortly before hanging up.

"Can I ask what that was about, or should I just pretend it didn't happen and take you to lunch?" Alex asked, trying not to radiate concern for his new friend.

"It's just my dad…" John trialed off, a lost sort of look in his eyes. His breath came more quickly the longer he tried to come up with the words and his chest tightened.

Alex, noting John's distress, placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, you don't have to explain right now." he said soothingly. "Or ever, for that matter. Why don't I take you to lunch anyway?"

John nodded and the pair of them walked on, Alex's arm slid around John's waist.

Once they were sitting on the grass on the commons, laying waste to several tacos they had gotten from a food truck around the corner, John seemed to relax. after a few moments he stilled and took a deep breath. "My dad...doesn't approve of my sexualty." he said softly.

"I thought that might be the case." Alex said in a tone that was more timid and careful than any he had used in a long time. He said nothing else and waited for John to continue.

"He doesn't approve of anything I do, really." John said then pitched his voice slightly lower. "Why did you join the debate team instead of football John. Why do you spend so much time talking to the household staff, John? Why are you crying at your grandmother's funeral, John? Why did you take a boy to the Prom, John?" John paused to collect himself and Alex, who had never been a particularly violent person, swallowed a desire to punch John's father in the face. Repeatedly.

"My whole life he's never had a kind word for me and when he calls I get a little…" John trailed off and gasped, squeezing his eyes shut. "Fuck," he said softly. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for." Alex said, scooting a little closer to John. The other man still hadn't opened his eyes. Alex hesitantly reached out and slipped his hand into John's.

John's eyes flew open and there was a moment when Alex thought he might pull away but he didn't. He curled his fingers around Alex's and squeezed gently. They sat like that for so long that Alex felt his other hand go numb from leaning on it but John's breathing slowly returned to normal and Alex pretended not to notice that when John finally pulled his hand back, it was to hastily wipe tears off his face.

"Why don't you spend the night at my house?" Alex said. "Angelica is out with Laf, we should have the house to ourselves." he said. "We can talk. Or not talk." He waited with held breath until finally John nodded.

"Okay," John said. "Let's go."


	7. My Secrets and My Passions Understood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout to my lovely beta hpfanonezillon for the idea for the chapter title, the last scene, and for just being awesome in general. enjoy the chapter!

When they got to his apartment, Alex got John a glass of water and handed it to him. "Drink." he ordered. "Focus on it. It will help."

John took a small sip. "You sound like you're speaking from experience." he said.

"That's because I am." Alex said. "But that's not important. What do you want to do for dinner?" he asked.

John gave it some thought before answering. "Can we cook?" he said with a hopeful expression. "I like to...I mean, I did."

Alex smiled, "As long as you accept that I will be of no help whatsoever." he said. "I can barely handle the basics."

John laughed at that. "I think you'll be more help than you think."

"You've been warned, Laurens." Alex said. "We'll go shopping later."

"I should get some homework done then." John said with a sigh.

"Me too." Alex replied. About an hour later when Angelica came home, she found them both at the kitchen table, books and paper spread out everywhere, working in comfortable silence.

"Hey, Ang." Alex said absently.

"Hello." John said. Neither one of them really looked up from their work.

Angelica raised her eyebrow but said nothing. "Hey, guys." she said. "What's going on?"

Alex finally fully looked up. "Homework." he said, gesturing to the paper and books strewn across the kitchen table. "What are you doing home?"

"Laf got held up with his folks." she said with a shrug. "We're going to hang out later."

"You okay making dinner for 3?" Alex asked, turning to John.

"Absolutely." He said.

Alex looked back at Angelica with a grin "John is going to cook." he explained.

"Is he now?" Angelica said.

"I hope you like Puerto Rican food." John said.

"Love it, but you won't find much food in this kitchen." she said.

"That's why we're going to go shopping as soon as we finish our homework, if you'll leave us alone long enough." Alex teased.

"Whatever, nerds. I have homework of my own, I guess." she said "Call me when there's food."

Alex rolled his eyes at her retreating back. "Are you sure you don't mind?" he asked. "I really thought it would be just us."

"It's okay." John said. This wasn't entirely the truth. He had been looking forward to time alone with Alex. In fact, as they had sat there working side by side John had started working up the courage to ask Alex out. He had been the one to ask for friendship between them and he knew that he would have to be the one to change things.

It was too late now, he supposed. By the time they all sat down to eat it was nearly 7.

Angelica took one bite of the Pastelon John had made and moaned. "Fuck, dude, you're hired." she said with a laugh. "This is the best thing that I have ever put in my mouth."

Alex, who had unbelievably already finished half of his plate, nodded in agreement and swallowed. "This is really amazing, John." he said.

"Thanks." John said, and Alex marveled at the pleased blush that bloomed under John's freckles.

Shortly after dinner, Laf arrived to pick Angelica up. Alex and John were alone again.

Alex looked at John questioningly. "What do you want to do?" he asked.

John opened his mouth to deliver the romantic speech he had prepared but he found he had totally lost his nerve. "Let's watch something." he said.

They settled on Pacific Rim and watched the opening narration in silence.

"Hey, Alex." John said softly a minute later.

"Yeah?" Alex said, turning to look at him.

"Thank you for today." John said. "For being so understanding and patient with me."

"John…" a wrinkle formed between Alex's eyebrows as he tried to decide what to say. "All I want is for you to be happy. I am more than willing to do anything I need to do to make that happen."

John's heart stuttered in his chest and he had no idea what to say. Instead of speaking, he scooted closer to Alex.

Alex threw his arm around John and allowed John's head to settle on his shoulder. They were both sound asleep before the movie ended.

Alex came fully awake all at once and took stock of his current situation. He had ended up draped uncomfortably over the arm of the couch, his spine bent and twisted. His left arm had gone completely numb. John had fallen over with him and was now laying awkwardly against Alex, his cheek pressed against Alex's side.

John looked so adorable that Alex almost hated to wake him, but the pain in his side could no longer be ignored. "John." he whispered softly. "John, come on, let's go to bed."

His words got no response. After a beat, Alex carefully slid out from underneath John and onto the floor. He stood slowly and stretched, trying to loosen some of the kinks in his back. He looked down at John's sleeping form, his cheek now pressed into the couch cushion and his body twisted into a very uncomfortable looking position. With a sigh, Alex bent down. It took some doing but he finally managed to scoop John up into a fireman's carry and stumble down the short hallway and into his bedroom. He laid John as gently as he could on the bed, coming down with him in the process.

Alex wiggled out from underneath John again and shifted until he could see his face. John's eyes were half open and he flashed Alex a drowsy smile. "Shit, sorry." Alex mumbled. "I was trying not to wake you."

Rather than answer, John slid his fingers into the hair at the back of Alex's head and pulled him down, sealing their lips together. The kiss was deep and lingering like Alex was John's first drink of water after days in the desert. When it ended, John slumped back onto the bed, eyes closed and fast asleep once more.

Alex, on the other hand, was frozen. Sprawled on his bed, half sitting up, the kiss lingering on his lips, making them tingle. He felt as though something inside him has shifted and he had no idea what to do about it. He decided he might as well get out his laptop, because sleep wasn't happening tonight.


	8. Just Holding You Might Compel Me to Ask for More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is late but I really struggled with this chapter. I hope you enjoy it! lots more excitement to come!

Alex ended up typing out a long email to Eliza about John. He told her things she already knew about how they had met and were enemies at first and about the make out sessions.

Then he began to tell her things she didn't know. Like how they were friends now. How he cherished John's company, his passion. How now he had to know what John thought about everything. How everytime John smiled Alex's stomach swooped like he had missed a step going down the stairs, and finally about the kiss that had crossed all the boundaries John had set for them.

By the time he finished the email was quite long and he held his breath and hit send. Apart from his parents, it was Eliza's advice he relied on the most. Hopefully she would know what to do.

John, as Alex would later learn after several tense minutes in the kitchen that morning, remembered nothing of the kiss they had shared that night.

"How did I end up in your bed?" John asked.

"I, uh, I carried you." Alex mumbled.

John laughed. "I wish I had video evidence of that." he said. "I'm like half a foot taller than you."

"That is a blatant exaggeration!" Alex said with an offended tone. "You have three inches on me at best."

John laughed again and ruffled Alex's hair as he walked past with his coffee. "Whatever, shorty."

Alex was proud of how well he kept his cool. Inside he was tense, certain that any minute, John was going to drop the playful facade to tell him that they could no longer be friends after Alex had betrayed his trust.

Alex was so lost in these thoughts that when an email alert came from his phone he jumped. He snatched up the device, and read Eliza's answer.

Alexander,

It sounds to me like you're in love. I understand your worry, but something tells me he feels the same way. I would like to meet him. Do you think George and Martha would take me when they come this weekend?

love,

Eliza

Alex blinked. He had totally forgotten that his parents were visiting this weekend. He looked up at John, trying to remain calm. "Hey, my parents are coming this weekend, do you want to meet them?" he asked.

"Your parents?" John asked.

"Yeah. Well, they aren't my biological parents." Alex explained, flustered. "They were my foster parents. I got placed with them when I was 13 and they officially adopted me when I was 15."

"I would love to meet them." John said although he didn't quite meet Alex's eyes as he did so.

"Great." Alex said and grinned at him. "My friend Eliza is coming with them." he added as if it were an afterthought.

"Angelica's sister?" John asked.

"Yeah, we've all been friends since we were kids." Alex said.

"Then I'm sure I'll like her." John said. They smiled at each other for several seconds until John was sure that his feelings shown through his eyes and hastily looked down.

"We had better get to class." Alex said, trying to dissipate the awkward turn the moment had taken.

"Shit, I'll be late." John said, scrambling to gather his books.

"No you won't." Alex said "I'll drive you."

They both managed to make it to class on time but Alex's mind was somewhere else. In addition to worrying that he had betrayed John's trust and crossed a line, Alex couldn't stop thinking about the kiss itself. It had felt like...home. For a brief, shining, moment he had felt the same way he had when the Washingtons had told him they were adopting him. He wasn't sure what to make of that.

Meanwhile, John felt great. He had never felt this good the day after an attack. He had woken up that morning feeling more energized and happier than he had in a long time. He breezed through his day confident he could deal with his father at the St Jude gala next weekend, which he realized he had forgotten to tell Alex about.

He daydreamed for a bit about what it would be like to ask Alex to be his date. To arrive in a limo and drink champagne and dance until late into the night, then go back home with him and...he forced himself to stop there before he embarrassed himself in public. Besides, he couldn't let Alex anywhere near his father. The fantasy would have to remain just that.

Alex didn't know how he made it through the rest of his classes but as soon as he got home he went in his room, slammed the door, and dialed Eliza's number.

"Hello?" Eliza answered after the second ring.

"Should I tell him?" Alex said without preamble.

"I'm fine, Alex, how are you?" She said but there was no bite to the sarcasm.

"Seriously, Lizzy." he said.

"I don't see how it makes a difference." she said after a moment of thought. "You didn't force anything or encourage it to continue knowing he wasn't able to consent."

"But would you want to be told?" Alex asked.

There was a pause while Eliza thought about this for a moment. Alex sat down on the edge of his bed and waited.

"I think I would." she said softly.

"Then how the fuck do I tell him?" Alex asked.

"Okay but, let's be real here," Angelica paused to swallow a bite of salad. "You're not freaking out because he sleep kissed you, you're freaking out because you've caught the feelings and you don't know how to shift gears."

"I have not-" Alex began, outraged, but was cut off by a look from Angelica. "Okay, I have totally caught the feelings." Alex said with a sigh.

"I knew it!" Angelica said, punctuating the statement by stabbing the air with her fork.

"It doesn't matter, Ang." Alex argued. "How do you even bring that up?" he hissed "Hey, John, how was class? Nice day we're having, huh? Oh, by the way you kissed me in your sleep the other night and I can't stop thinking about it. Wanna be boyfriends?"

Angelica rolled her eyes. "Of course not. " she scoffed. "You're a lot smoother than that, Hamilton."

"This is why I go to Eliza with these things." he said.

"I'm just saying, the direct approach is the easiest way to end your agony." Angelica said.

"You're probably right." Alex admitted reluctantly. "I just…I don't want to screw this up, Ang."

Angelica's face softened and she reached out and patted Alex's hand. "I know, sweetie." she said. "You won't. John likes you. Really likes you. When the time is right, everything will happen."

"I hope you're right." Alex said.


	9. Not Going Left, Not Going Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Losing My Mind from Follies. Thanks again to my beta hpfanonezillon for being amazing. enjoy!

"So I have a question." John said. He and Alex were sitting at the bar The Colonist, waiting for the bartender's attention three days after The Event.

Alex swallowed hard. He still hadn't found the right time to tell John about the kiss or his feelings. As a result, he spent most of his time with John in a state of anxiety. "What's that?" he asked.

"There's this St. Jude's benefit next weekend and my dad is being honored for his contributions." John grimaced. "Naturally, he's going to use the publicity to announce his plans to run for governor." he said.

"Okay…" Alex said slowly. He wasn't sure where this was going.

"He wants me to be there and I told him I would go. And with everything that's been going on I thought it would be a good idea if I went with a date." he said. "A female date." he added quickly in response to the strange look that passed over Alex's face.

Once Alex processed this there was a flash of something in his eyes that was gone too quickly for John to read. "You want to know if I know someone." Alex guessed.

John nodded. "I need someone more...discreet than Laf tends to hang out with and Angelica and my dad would get on about as well as oil and water."

Alex nodded. "Why don't we ask Eliza tomorrow?" he said. "If she can't go, I'm sure she knows someone."

"Are you sure she won't mind a total stranger asking her for a favor?" John said.

"Not at all." Alex said confidently.

It was at that moment that the bartender walked up to them. "What do you want, Hamilton?" he asked.

"Now, Burr, is that any way to greet a customer?" Alex said.

The other man scowled. "Why do I still give you drinks?" he said.

"That is a question that you will have to answer for yourself, Aaron." Alex said. "In the meantime, my friend and I would like a Sam Adams, please."

Aaron shook his head and walked over to the taps.

"I take it you two know each other." John said curiously, indicating the bartender.

"He's my ex." Alex said matter-of-factly.

John looked at the tall bartender with a pang of what he was horrified to recognize as jealousy. "You dated?" he said, trying to keep his tone casual.

"Yeah, until I was running for class president and he told the whole school to vote for my opponent." Aaron commented as he sat their drinks in front of them.

"You wouldn't take a side on anything!" Alex said defensively, "Not even about us, I might add."

"Whatever." Aaron said and turned away to serve the next customer.

"Did I step in something?" John asked Alex.

"Not really." Alex said. "We broke up a couple of years ago, we weren't very good for each other."

John thought the subject was closed but Alex went on. "It was high school. Aaron wasn't out and I was and I was young and stupid." A shadow of sadness passed over Alex's face and John felt his jealousy intensify. He took a sip of his beer to steady himself.

"When do your parents and Eliza arrive?" John asked, desperate to change the subject.

"Early." Alex said. "Dad is...an early person." he grimaced.

John smiled a little at that and they sat in silence for a few moments.

"John."

Alex said his name so softly that John almost didn't hear it over the noise of the bar. "Yeah?" he asked.

"I need to tell you something." Alex said.

Fuck John thought. He's done. You've screwed up another good thing for yourself. "What?" he said out loud.

Alex took a deep breath and John thought he was going to be sick. "The other night when you spent the night and I carried you to my bed…" he paused and John nodded to acknowledge that he knew what Alex was talking about. "Well, I don't know if you remember this or not but while you were still asleep you kinda kissed me."

John's lungs seized with panic and his face felt cold and hot at the same time. "I did?" he said, his voice flat.

"Yeah." Alex said. "and I-" he tried to continue but John cut him off.

"I am so sorry, Alex." he said. "I don't know what I must have been thinking. And this has been bothering you for days, hasn't it? Shit." John dropped his head in shame. "I hope you can forgive me." he said softly.

There was silence as Alex stared at John's bent head for several seconds until a short burst of laughter escaped Alex's lips, causing John to flinch but he didn't look up.

"John, look at me." Alex said gently.

John slowly lifted his head, but avoided Alex's eyes, terrified of what he would find there.

"Please look at me." Alex pleaded this time. Something in his voice gave John the courage to look Alex in the eyes. All he found was kindness and compassion. "I just wanted you to know that it happened." he said. "I'm not mad. There's nothing to be mad about."

"But I told you I wanted to be friends and then I kissed you." John said, not trusting himself to believe Alex. "You're really not mad about all those mixed signals?"

"Mixed signals?" Alex said. "John, this is not a conquest for me. You are not a conquest." Alex ran his hand down his face and huffed out a breath. "Fuck, John. The only thing that makes me mad is that I wasted so much time being an arrogant prick to you. I...you're important to me."

John blinked slowly at Alex. "So you don't mind that I…" he couldn't even say it, it was too embarrassing.

Alex laughed without humor. "No." he said. "I don't mind."

John finally relaxed a fraction. "So we're good?" he said. "I didn't make things weird?"

Alex sighed heavily. "I mean...I think it means something." he said. "I think we need to talk about it, but I'm willing to wait for you to be comfortable doing that."

John closed his eyes briefly and opened them to find Alex watching him closely. "I need more time." he admitted.

"Then that's what you'll get." Alex said. "We should head back. If I meet my parents hung over my mom will kill me."

John nodded and they left the bar, walking to close, both lost in their own thoughts.


	10. The Biggest Disappointment You Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys. Bonus chapter this week because I was feeling extra inspired. Title is from Breathe from In the Heights. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 10: The Biggest Disappointment You Know

About 6:00 AM, Alex woke to a pounding on his door. "Wake up, Alexander," came Angelica's muffled shout from the hallway. "Eliza is arriving today!"

Alex stumbled out of bed and opened the door, glaring at Angelica. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he said.

"Rude." Angelica said, and pushed her way into his room.

"You're rude." Alex grumbled but didn't try to stop her from entering.

"You know that if you're not up and dressed when George and Martha get here, Martha is going to make that face." she said. "Besides, you didn't tell me what happened with John at the bar last night that made you watch epic rap battles of history until 2:00 AM."

Alex scowled. "Nothing." he said petulantly and started digging through the pile of clothes in the corner of his room.

"Lies." Angelica said. "Dish, or I'll tell Martha that you only use that iron she got you when she visits."

"I...I told him." Alex said, without looking at her. "About the kiss."

Angelica raised her eyebrows. "And?" she prompted.

Alex took a deep breath and turned to look at her. "He apologized to me, Ang." he said. "I just...He deserves better than me." Alex dropped onto the edge of bed.

"Oh, Alexander." Angelica said. She crawled over the bed to where he sat and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "You really love him, don't you?" she said.

Alex nodded and dropped his head sideways onto Angelica's shoulder. "As long as you show him that, then you'll be everything he deserves and more, okay?" she said, wiping at her eyes. "Look at what you did." she said. "You've gone and turned me into Eliza."

Alex smiled weakly and sat up. "Thanks, Ang." he said, and hugged her tight. She returned the embrace for several seconds before they both let go and went about getting ready for their guests.

Angelica squealed when a knock sounded at the door an hour later. she threw open the door and wrapped her arms around a ruffled but not entirely surprised Eliza. When they separated Alex was standing behind Angelica, grinning at the two women. "Alexander." Eliza said and wrapped him in a quick hug.

"Where's mom and dad?" Alex asked, looking around.

"They went to get settled in at the hotel." Eliza explained. "They knew I would be staying here so they dropped me off."

She picked up the bag she had dropped when Angelica had hugged her and headed to Angelica's room, Alex and Angelica trailing behind her. "They said to meet them at The Morning Glory at noon and Martha said to 'tell him to bring that boy of his.'"

The Morning Glory was Martha's favorite restaurant and they had at least one meal there every time they visited. Alex rolled his eyes. "He's not really my anything, but I'll tell him." he really need to remember to keep things to himself where his mother was concerned. If he wasn't careful, she'd be picking out flowers for their wedding by the end of the weekend.

He pulled out his phone and texted John.

You up, freckles?

The reply came almost immediately.

I told you not to call me that.

What endearments am I allowed?

Are you seriously quoting Pride and Prejudice right now?

It's Peggy's favorite movie. However I would like to point out that you recognized it.

Yeah, yeah. What did you want?

My parents want to have lunch at noon, do you want to come?

There was a much longer pause this time. Alex nervously put his phone back in his pocket.

"We should go to The Alley tonight." Angelica was saying. "We haven't kicked Alexander's ass at bowling in forever."

Alex shook his head. "I am an excellent bowler. You two cheat."

Both girls put their hands to their chest and gasped. "Slander!" Angelica cried.

Alex felt his phone vibrate and forced himself not to pull it out of his pocket. "You make up rules to give yourself points." he shot back.

"You use the bumpers." Eliza accused.

"Yeah, when I was 15." Alex countered. His phone went off again and he could no longer stand it. He quickly pulled the device out of is pocket and unlocked it.

Sure, sounds like fun.

I have to admit, Freckles is growing on me.

Alex beamed and typed his response.

I'll pick you up at 11:30, Freckles.

"Is that John you're texting?" Eliza asked.

"It's always John." Angelica quipped.

"I was just telling him about lunch." Alex said defensively.

"What about how you want to marry him and have his babies?" Angelica asked. "Did you tell him that?"

Alex glared and Eliza smacked her on the arm. "How are things between you?" Eliza asked.

Alex told her what had happened at the bar last night. By the time he was finished, both Eliza and Angelica, who hadn't heard the whole story yet, sat stunned.

"That poor boy." Eliza said shaking her head.

"Yeah, I think his dad has really messed up what he thinks of himself." Alex said softly.

"You should just go to the benefit with John and punch his dad in the dick." Angelica said, which was a prime example of why John had not bothered asking her to go. Eliza smacked her arm again and looked at Alex.

"I'll go with him, of course." she said.

"Thanks, Liza." Alex said softly. They spent the rest of the time they had before lunch talking of lighter topics. Eliza decided to forgo lunch with the Washingtons in favor of spending some one on one time with Angelica so Alex headed off to pick John up alone.

John paced the floor of his room as he waited for Alex to arrive. He could feel the muscles in his chest tighten and he wished that Herc hadn't gone to the library early this morning.

He was sure that Alex's parents would hate him. Why wouldn't they? And when Alex saw their distaste for him, he would surely lose interest. He shouldn't have agreed to this, he was only going to fuck it up like he had at the bar last night. He had barely slept that night going over that conversation in his mind.

He was such a loser that he couldn't handle a simple conversation about feelings and he couldn't believe that he had kissed Alex in his sleep. Alex had said he wasn't mad but what must he think of someone that lost control of themselves like that?

"Fuck." he said out loud and rubbed the spot in the center of his chest, trying to calm down. His phone went off with a text from Alex saying he was downstairs. John took a deep breath and made his way down, praying he could keep it together.


	11. We've All Got Our Junk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am posting this today because I'm not going to be able to post this weekend. Early chapter, yay! This is also a little longer than previous chapters. Title is from My Junk from Spring Awakening. Shout out to my beta hpfanonezillion! Hope you enjoy!

As soon as John got into the car, Alex knew something was wrong. John was pale and he didn't say a word as he settled into the passenger seat.

"You okay?" Alex asked.

"We're going to be late if you don't drive." John snapped.

Alex felt the sting of his words but didn't show it. "You're right." he said mildly. He slowly shifted into drive and lifted his foot off the break, all the while not looking at John.

As soon as the car began to move, he heard a soft whimper and pressed the break again. Trying not to panic himself, he looked over. John had his head pressed against the headrest, his eyes closed. Alex watched as John's chest rose and fell as if he had just ran for his life.

"Can I help?" Alex asked softly.

"I can't do this." John gasped and reached for the door handle.

"John, wait." Alex said, lifting his hand but not actually reaching out to John.

John turned to look at him, his eyes wide and filled with panic. "I can't, Alex." he said, his voice breaking at the end of Alex's name. "I can't do this."

Alex swallowed his worry and forced himself to remain calm. "I understand." he said. "But, will you tell me what has you so upset? Please?"

John, who had been frozen with half his body facing Alex and the other facing the door slowly settled back into the seat without completely relaxing. "I don't…" he said but then faltered and looked straight ahead, "I'm not good with parents." he finished.

"Not good with parents?" Alex repeated curiously.

"I don't know how to act around them. I don't know what is expected of me or what to say...I always fuck it up." By now John was crying. He angrily wiped the tears away and sighed. "I can tell your parents are important to you and if I…" John couldn't finish the sentence.

Alex was quiet for a moment, absorbing what John had said. "You're afraid that my parents won't like you and if they don't then I won't anymore." Alex said in summary.

"Yes." John's voice was so small and defeated that Alex's heart broke.

Alex turned in his seat until he was facing John. "John, will you look at me, please?" he said gently. John slowly turned his head. Alex despaired when John's eyes didn't quite meet his.

"Look...I understand that you're scared," Alex said, "and I don't want you to do anything that's going to make you anxious or uncomfortable, but let me tell you something you may not know and if you still don't want to go after that, you can go back inside and I'll tell my parents that you were busy."

"Okay." John said slowly.

Alex turned to face the front now and took a deep breath. "Before I got placed with the Washingtons, I was in bad shape." Alex said. He hadn't thought about any of this in a long time, let alone talked about it. "My dad ran off when I was little and my mom died very suddenly not too long after. I was alone and angry and terrified and no one knew what to do with me. I was passed around from home to home...six in two years. I didn't feel wanted by anyone, let alone loved and that only made me more angry and terrified."

Alex had to pause to collect himself, but John was getting progressively more enthralled with the story. "That's terrible." he said, but Alex noted that while his concern was genuine, the edge of panic was fading from his voice.

Alex continued without responding. "When George came to pick me up at my social worker's office, I was so scared of him. He was so tall and intimidating and I thought I was in for more of the same." Alex smiled then. "It wasn't like that though. George and Martha Washington are the most kind, patient, understanding people I have ever met…until you at least." He flashed a crooked smile at John. "So, I don't think you will make a bad impression, and I know that you aren't going to do anything that's going to drive me away. Even if my parents hated you, which I really don't think they will, I would just have to change their mind or do without their approval, because you're stuck with me."

John stared at Alex as he finished his story, a million thoughts and feelings running through his mind. He couldn't focus on it long enough to work out his feelings so he focused on something else.

"We're going to be late." John said, reaching for his seatbelt.

"Are you sure?" Alex said, concern and hope filling his eyes.

"Yes." John said. "I think so."

"If you change your mind at any time just...say you forgot about a paper that's due tomorrow and we'll leave. No questions asked, okay?"

"Okay." John said and Alex nodded, pulling away from the residence hall at last.

Alex pulled up into the parking lot next to his parents ancient Lincoln at 12:30. The couple, who had been sitting in the car, quickly got out. John felt another rush of panic when he saw how intimidating Mr. Washington was and reached out to grip Alex's hand. Alex turned and looked at him with a look of such warmth and reassurance that after a quick squeeze he let go again. If Alex thought he could do it...maybe he could.

Once they were all out of their respective cars, Alex was completely engulfed as both of his parents converged on him, hugging him tightly and blocking him from John's view.

They stepped away after a long moment. "We missed you, son." George said gruffly and clapped him on the back.

"Oh, Alex, your hair." Martha said, lifting chunks of the boys long locks and letting them drop back onto his shoulders.

Alex batted her away good-naturedly. "Get off, Mom." he said. "You're gonna make it frizz." Martha sighed and crossed her arms over her chest and her eyes found John.

"Alex, are you going to introduce us to your friend?" she asked pointedly.

"Oh, yes ma'am." he said leading them over to John. "Mom, Dad, this is my new friend John Laurens. John, these are my parents, George and Martha Washington."

John reached out a hand that he hoped they couldn't see was shaking. "It's nice to meet you both." he said timidly. He shook George's hand first. The older man had a firm but casual grip and smiled at John.

Next he took Martha's soft hand in his own. "I've heard so much about you, John." she said, smiling kindly. "It's wonderful to meet you at last." John blushed but said nothing.

"I'm starving." Alex said.

"Imagine that." George said and gave his son a playful shove as they all trailed into the restaurant.

They were seated quickly and the waitress handed them their menus and took their drink orders before rushing off.

"Now, John," Martha began, folding her hands on the table, "are you by any chance related to Henry Laurens?"

John's eyes widened at the name. "Yes, ma'am, he's my father." he said.

"I met him and your mother a while back. I am a member of the DAR planning committee and we did a fundraiser for a charity. You mother was on the board." Martha explained. "I knew they had a son but I didn't realize you went to the same school as our Alex." She patted Alex's hand when she said his name. The gesture seem almost unconscious.

"Yes, ma'am, but we didn't meet until this semester." John said.

"We have a class together." Alex interjected.

"Are you a law student as well?" George asked.

"Yes, sir." John answered.

"He's one of the smartest ones in the class." Alex said, beaming proudly.

"That's not surprising." Martha said. "I can always tell the bright ones."

The conversation stayed on school until the food arrived, after which they began to talk about John's talents in the kitchen.

"That's wonderful." Martha said. "Alex, God love him, is hopeless."

"Hey!" Alex protested and John laughed.

"Well, son, you did burn the kitchen down once." George said, chuckling.

"Dad!" Alex fairly shouted. "I did not." he turned to John and repeated "I did not burn the kitchen down." he said, shaking his head. "There was a small mishap that lead to a few sparks is all."

John was now laughing quite hard as George began to regale him with the story which involved a metal spoon in the microwave when the waitress came by with the check.

George set about paying it while Alex pouted in his chair. John turned to him and shot him a look. They eyed each other for several seconds until the pout finally dropped from Alex's face. John smiled triumphantly and Alex smiled back. Martha watched the exchange very closely and elbowed her husband, nodding to the pair of boys with a knowing look neither of them saw


	12. Give in to Love or Live in Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from No Day But Today from Rent. Thanks to my beta hpfanonzillion who is literally a foot away from me. Go check her out, she's perf.

"I have an idea." Martha said once they were all in the parking lot. "Let's go shopping."

Alex shook his head. "Mom I don't need anything." He said. "You guys keep plenty of money in my account."

Martha huffed. "You barely touch it." she said. "And you wore those pants last time we were here."

George let out a snort of laughter. "I don't think you're going to win this one, son."

"You're welcome to join us, John." Martha said as though she hadn't heard her husband.

"Um, no thank you, ma'am." John said. "I have uh..I have a paper due soon I really should get back."

"That's okay." Alex said, jumping in before Martha could respond. "Let me drive him back and you can meet me back at the apartment."

"Alright, if you're sure." george said, looking at John. "We really don't mind."  
"Oh, I know." John said. "I just really need to get to work. Maybe next time."

"Okay, Mom, Dad, I'll see you later, bye!" Alex shouted and he and John quickly got in the car. "I told you they would love you." Alex said as soon as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"You really think so?" John said shyly. "They're so great."

"Are you kidding?" Alex asked. "I think Mom wants to adopt you." he said with a laugh.

John said nothing until they pulled up in front of his residence hall again. "I see where you get it now." he said.

"Get what?" Alex asked.

"Your decency." John said simply. He leaned over and gave Alex a peck on the cheek and turned to get out of the car. "Tell your parent's thank you for lunch." and with that he was gone.

"So are you going to tell me about what's going on with you and John?" Martha asked once they were alone in the shop.

"What do you mean?" Alex asked.

"I saw the way you two were looking at each other." She said. "There's something going on there."

Alex sighed. "We're...taking things as they come." he said.

"I see." Martha said. "Is he…" she paused now as though she were trying to decide how to say it. "Is he alright?"

Alex bit his lip. His mom really was insightful. "He doesn't think much of himself." he said carefully.

Martha furrowed her brow. "Poor dear." she said. "He's such a wonderful boy."

"His dad is pretty hard on him." Alex said. He knew this was an understatement but he didn't have permission from John to share all his private information.

"Henry is a...hard sort of man." Martha said. When that was the best thing Martha Washington had to say about you, you had problems.

"He doesn't approve of John's sexuality." Alex said very softly. "He wants John to go to this benefit thing and he feels like he has to bring a girl as his date to get his dad off his back." Alex pushed a hand through his hair. "Eliza agreed to go with him but I am still worried."

Martha was quiet for several minutes, staring at a rack of clothes. "What benefit?" She said finally.

"St. Jude, I think." he said. "Why?"

"George and I were invited to that." Martha said. "Why don't you come with us?"

"Really?" Alex said, looking at his mother hopefully.

"Of course." Martha said. "You've gone with us before, so no one will think anything of it and you can keep an eye on John."

Alex beamed. "Thank you, Mom" he said and threw his arms around Martha, who laughed as she hugged him back.

Later that night, Alex called John. He paced the floor as the phone rang, flipping Angelica off when she started making kissing noises.

"Hello?" John sounded like he had just woken up.

"Shit, were you asleep?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, but it was about time I woke up anyway." John said. "What's up?"

"I wanted to check on you." Alex said softly.

John didn't say anything for so long that Alex began to wonder if he had heard him. Finally he spoke. "I'm fine." For once it sounded like he really meant it. "I was tired, but...your parents are amazing."

"I'm glad you liked them." Alex said. "Do you feel up to coming bowling with me, Ang, and Eliza tonight?" he asked after a pause.

"Can Laf and Herc come too?" John asked.

"Absolutely." Alex said and the plans were made.

Alex and his friends made for quite the presence in the bowling alley. The six kids took up 2 lanes and spent the better part of the evening eating bad pizza and shouting taunts at one another. Alex was happy to find that John and Eliza got along like a house on fire.

"I am a terrible bowler." Eliza was saying to John.

John laughed. "Maybe you just need a little instruction." he said.

"I don't know." Eliza said, biting her lip. "I may be a lost cause."

"Nonsense." John said and stood. "It's your turn, come on."

The two of them walked up to the ball return together and Eliza grabbed her ball. "Okay, take your stance." John said.

Eliza did as she was told and John clucked his tongue and began directing her on how to adjust her stance. That done, he took as step closer and leaned toward her. "May I?" he asked. Eliza nodded and John stood behind her and showed her the best way to throw a couple of times.

"Okay, give it a try." he said.

Eliza threw the ball down the lane. It wobbled a bit but struck two pins. Eliza squealed and threw her arms around John who laughed and lifted her up off the ground.

"I'm buying you a churro." Eliza said with a grin and dragged John toward the concession stand.

Alex watched the two of them walk off and felt an odd pang of jealousy. He longed for a conversation that John wasn't ready to have. One that he was sure would lead to a lot of happiness for them both.


	13. My Heart is Set in Motion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from When He Sees Me from Waitress. Thanks to my beta hpfanonezillion, check her out!

A few hours after they bid Eliza and the Washingtons goodbye, John and Alex sat alone in John's dorm room. They talked softly, facing each other on the narrow bed.

"It turns out my parents were invited to that St. Jude thing too." Alex said suddenly.

"Cool." John said. He was slightly distracted because Alex had licked his lips seconds before, causing them to shine in the florescent lights.

"I talked to mom and she said I could come with them." Alex said. "To the benefit I mean."

John's mouth opened slightly in shock. "Really?"

"Yeah." Alex said uncertainly. "I mean, if you want me there that is. If you don't I'll-"

Whatever Alex would do would remain a mystery as John, no longer interested in words, closed the short distance between them and kissed Alex.

Alex was still with shock at first, but quickly began to kiss him back. He shifted closer, lifting a hand and threading it through John's hair.

Much too soon for Alex's liking, John pulled back. "I definitely want you there." John said breathlessly.

"I thought as much." Alex said with a laugh. "Can we do that again?" he asked. He had not removed his hand from John's hair and the two of them were inches apart.

John nodded and Alex beamed, kissing him softly at first. It felt so incredible, John thought. Each feather light touch of Alex's lips against John's sent a thrill through Alex's stomach.

Neither one of them were satisfied with this however. John was unsure which one of them deepened the kiss, but he quickly decided he liked this even better. His heart was beating in his ears and he opened his mouth against Alex's. He felt Alex smile against his lips before taking the invitation and sliding his tongue against John's.

John groaned and pressed closer. Alex took his other hand and pressed it into John's back, urging him forward until they were pressed together from head to toe on the bed. John wrapped one arm around Alex as well, sliding his hand down to cup Alex's ass, giving it a quick squeeze.

John felt Alex's moan in his own chest and wondered why they were still wearing clothes. It was then that someone out in the hallway let out a loud cackling laugh. This brought both boys crashing back to reality.

"Shit." Alex hissed through gritted teeth. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his forehead against John's.

"You should go." John said softly. "Herc will be back soon and I don't think I can…" he didn't finish his sentence but Alex nodded.

"Yeah, me either." he said. "We're going to have to have that conversation soon."

"I know." John said. "We will. After the benefit."

"Only if you're sure." Alex said. Neither one of them had really moved, but they had shifted so they were no longer touching.

"I am." John said. "I...This whole friends only thing didn't last long did it?" he said with an awkward laugh.

"I think there's always been something more to this than friendship." Alex said quietly. He sat up and stood, leaning down to press a kiss to John's forehead. "I'll see you later, freckles." he said and left while he still could.

By unspoken agreement, John and Alex spent the week leading up to the benefit avoiding each other's company. They did however, send thousands of texts in that time.

When the morning of the fateful day dawned, Alex's first act of the day was to text John.

Morning, my dear Laurens

You are such a nerd

And you love it.

Don't you have a tux to pick up?

Alex shook his head, smiling. Most of his day was spent watching Angelica and Peggy help Eliza get ready. Eliza looked like something out of a fairy tale in her pale blue gown. Alex snapped pictures of the three of them with his phone until they told him to stop.

"What do you do with those anyway, weirdo?" Angelica asked.

"What can I say, I've always had a soft spot for the Schuyler sisters." Alex said.

"Awwww!" the girls exclaimed in unison and crowded around him for a group hug.

Eliza's phone went off and she pulled back to check it. She looked up at the other three in alarm. "John is on his way!" she said.

What followed was a flurry of activity for Eliza to finish getting ready. Peggy straightened Alex's tie and brushed his tux jacket.

"John is going to lose it when he sees you." She said.

Alex blushed. "That's the plan." he said, winking at Peggy who giggled.

"You are terrible." she said.

Alex and the sisters all trooped down to the parking lot where a shiny black town car waited. The door opened and John stepped out.

Alex stared. John was wearing a perfectly tailored jacket and slacks in a camel color with a stark white shirt with a high collar. Their eyes locked and held for several stunned moments before Angelica cleared her throat.

"You two better get…" she made a vague gesture at the two boys "whatever's going on here out of your system because no one is going to believe John is with my sister if you're looking at each other like that." she said.

Both boys shook themselves and John focused on his date. "You look beautiful, Eliza." he said with a soft smile. Stepping forward, took her hand and lifted it to his lips, pressing a quick kiss to her knuckles.

"You look very handsome." Eliza said, beaming at him. "Shall we?" she asked, nodding at the car.

John smiled and offered her his arm. she threaded her own through it. Before they walked to the car, John braved another glance at Alex. Alex could see the fear in his eyes.

Alex lifted a hand and placed it on John's shoulder. "You can do this, Freckles." he said. John seemed to relax slightly at Alex's touch. He nodded and reached out to open the door for Eliza and usher her inside.

"I'll see you guys there." Alex said. They both waved as the car pulled away.


	14. The Only Thing Out of Your Reach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so late and so short, I am so sorry! I had a really rough time with this chapter, so it took way longer than usual. I promise the next chapter will be long and satisfying (and maybe sexy)   
> Chapter title is from Agony from Into the Woods. Enjoy!

Eliza turned to John once the car was out of sight. "You're in love with Alexander aren't you?" she said.

John swallowed and began to stammer.

"It's okay." She said. "I won't tell him."

"Is it that obvious?" John asked. He felt heat rising in his cheeks.

"Not as obvious as it is that he loves you." she said with a kind smile.

"Really?" John said. "I don't...I mean people don't…" he wasn't sure what he was trying to say.

"The way he talks about you and the way he looks at you couldn't be anything else." Eliza said. "I've known Alexander a long time. I have never seen him like this."

John didn't know what to say. He stared down at his hands, wringing them together.

Eliza placed one of her hands over his. "You should tell him." she said gently.

"I don't know if I can." John admitted.

"I think you'll find it's easier than you think." Eliza said.

She glanced out the window to find that they had arrived. They got inside quickly with only a few flashbulbs in their face. Once they were in the ballroom, John led Eliza to the corner where his father was holding court.

His mother spotted him first and walked over, kissing him on both cheeks. "So good to see you, dear." she said. "Who's your friend?"

"Mom, this is Eliza Schuyler." he said. "Eliza, this is my mom, Eleanor."

Eliza nodded. "Nice to meet you Mrs. Laurens." she said with a smile.

Eleanor clasped Eliza's hands and leaned forward to kiss her as she had her son. "Lovely to meet you, my dear." she pulled back and gave Eliza's hands a squeeze before letting go. "You should introduce her to your father." she said pointedly, looking at John.

"Right." John said, and he and Eliza crossed the few steps to where John's father was standing.

"John." the older man said shortly. "It's about time."

"Dad, this is Eliza Schuyler." John said as if his father hadn't spoken.

"Nice to meet you, young lady." He said, taking her hand to shake. Eliza wasn't sure if it was what little she had heard from the man from Alex or just her own instincts but she had to restrain herself from jerking her hand away at once.

"Nice to meet you." she said softly with a strained smile. Henry, who didn't seem to notice her discomfort, went on. "Is Philip Schuyler your father?"

"Yes, sir." she said. She tried to discreetly wipe her hand on her skirt.

"Ah." he said, nodding. "Excellent man."

Eliza opened her mouth to agree but Henry spotted someone across the room and made a vague gesture at her before taking off.

She and John looked at each other. "That was an experience." Eliza said. John smiled at her. They stood on the fringes of the crowd chatting for several minutes before Alex arrived and immediately joined them.

Alex kept a firm distance between them, which John knew was necessary but made him ache. Eliza spotted someone she knew across the room and went over to talk to them. Whether this was a ruse or not was unknown to John, but he looked over at Alex with a small smile. The other boy clenched his hands together before speaking.

"How's it going?" Alex asked.

"Well enough." John said. This was painful, he thought to himself. The effort it was taking not to lean into Alex was startling. He felt himself get fidgety. "I should go find my date." he said and took off before he did something foolish.

He quickly found Eliza and they began to mingle a bit. He managed to quite enjoy himself for nearly an hour despite feeling both his father's critical gaze and Alex's longing one. He even asked her to dance. She readily agreed and they both headed to the dance floor. John placed a hand on Eliza's waist and they began a simple box step. Unfortunately, the time came for his father to receive his accolades and make his announcement.

He stood at the back of the stage beside his mother as the event coordinator fawned over Henry and clapped politely along with everyone else as he announced that he was running for Governor. Once it was finally over he made his way back to Eliza who was standing close to the stage.

Eliza could see that John was exhausted. She put a hand to her temple. "I have a bit of a headache." she said. "Could you see me home?"

John could have laughed from relief. "Of course." he said. They quickly made their excuses, and John led her out to the car. Once they settled in the back seat, John checked his phone to find a text from Alex.

Are you okay?

John felt himself smile as he responded.

I'm fine. It seems my father gave Eliza a headache.

Lol. Will you stay tonight?

John stared at his phone trying to decide and another text came in.

We don't have to talk about anything tonight.

He didn't really need the assurance. He trusted by now that Alex would never force him to do anything he wasn't ready for or comfortable with. It was nice all the same.

Yeah. I'll stay.

That done, he tucked his phone away and turned to Eliza. "Thanks for giving me an escape route." he said.

"My pleasure." she said with a laugh. "And just so you know, Angelica and I will be in her room. All night. Asleep, probably. Won't hear anything that might go on." she winked.

John laughed. "Good to know." he said simply.


	15. In Here it's Beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, folks! On time, lengthy-ish, and filled with lots of good things. I hope you enjoy it!   
> Chapter title is from Dead Girl Walking from Heathers The musical.   
> Thanks to my beta hpfanonezillon for being a star! check her out if you like Hunger Games.

Alex walked into his apartment to find John sitting on the edge of the couch, hands clasped. He stood when Alex approached him. before Alex could speak, John wrapped his arms around him, holding him tightly.

"That was torture." he said softly.

"At least he was too busy to give you any grief." Alex said. John pulled back to look at him.

"No I mean being there with you and not being with you." John said. He reached up to push an escaped lock of hair off of Alex's face. "Look, I…" he stepped out of Alex's arms and began to pace. "I've never met anyone that makes me feel this way." he said. "Like I'm safe and in danger all at once. I mean, you treat me...you treat me so well but it's more than that."

Alex was certain that he hadn't taken a full breath during this speech but he wasn't sure he remembered how. He said nothing as John continued to speak.

"You excite me, you challenge me, you open me up to things I didn't think were possible." John grabbed both of Alex's hands and led him to the couch. "I feel like I can do anything with you." he said softly, reaching out to stroke Alex's cheek. "I love you, Alexander."

Alex felt himself gasp. He ached to kiss John but he wanted to say something first. "I love you too." he said. "I thought that when the Washingtons adopted me that I would never need another home, but you came along and you feel just as much like home as they ever did, maybe even more. You touched something inside me that I didn't think a person could touch. A passion I didn't think I was capable of. You have stolen into my affections without my consent, but I can't imagine not giving them to you freely."

John let out a short laugh, "Will you just kiss me already, you nerd?"

Alex was more than willing to comply. He was still smiling when their lips met. He felt John's small sigh of satisfaction somewhere in his chest. Alex shifted closer to John, lightly cupping his cheek.

John was sure they would never be close enough. He leaned into the kiss until he began to push Alex backward. Soon Alex's head was laying on the armrest and John had draped himself across him. The two shifted until their position was comfortable and every part of them touched.

John pressed his lips into Alex's neck and Alex moaned deeply. John kissed his way downward and made a frustrated noise when Alex's shirt collar got in the way.

"You could take that off if you wanted." Alex said.

John looked up into his smiling face and grinned back, reaching for the buttons of his tux jacket and they both sat up. A giggle sounded from down the hallway and they both jerked their heads toward the sound.

"We should probably take this to the bedroom before we get caught." Alex said, laughing. John nodded and stood, hauling Alex up with him and kissing him hard before heading toward Alex's room.

As soon as they entered Alex slammed the door behind them and began removing his jacket and John did the same. John walked up to Alex and reached for the buttons of his waistcoat.

"May I?" he asked.

"I think you must." Alex said with a grin. John unbuttoned the garment with surprisingly steady fingers. Alex pulled off the waistcoat and let it crumple to the floor. They both surged forward then, their lips crashing together roughly. Alex pulled away only to turn his head to lick at John's neck.

Alex brushed his fingers across the top button of John's shirt and looked up in silent question. John nodded eagerly and in short order, both of their shirts were off and on the floor. John began walking backward until the backs of his knees hit the bed. John lowered himself onto it pulling Alex with him.

They settled themselves on the bed and Alex leaned down to kiss and lick his way down John's chest slowly. When Alex's teeth grazed a spot to the left of John's navle, the other boy let out a breathless whimper. Finally, Alex reached the waistband of John's pants and lifted his hands to hover over the fastenings.

"Are you sure about this?" Alex asked, looking up at John who looked so thoroughly wrecked that Alex had to suppress a groan.

"Alex, I have never been more sure of anything in my life." John said.

Alex grinned widely and made quick work of the button and zipper and began the somewhat awkward task of pulling John's pants down his hips. It was only then he realized neither one of them had taken their shoes off.

They both laughed. "Maybe we should go ahead and undress now." John said chuckling. in seconds they were both down to their boxers and reached for each other before the last article of clothing hit the floor.

They settled back on the bed. John pushed one hand through Alex's long hair and cupped his cheek with the other as they kissed. Alex settled some of his weight onto John, leaning down and deepening the kiss. When John sucked on his tongue he felt the pull all the way to his core. Alex groaned and John swallowed the sound as they began to explore the insides of each other's mouths.

John could feel Alex's erection pressing against him and lifted his hips, grinding against Alex. Alex made a sound that was probably meant to be a curse but it was difficult to tell. He began his trip down John's body again, stopping to nip at that place that had caused that delightful sound before. He was rewarded with a strangled cry but moved lower still until he was eye level with John's tented boxers.

He slowly curled his fingers into the waistband and tugged until John's length sprung free. Without hesitation he wrapped his fingers around the base and took John into his mouth.

"Fuck, Alex." John hissed. He fisted a handful of hair at the back of Alex's head to keep him in place as he twirled his tongue around the tip. After a few seconds of suction however, Alex pulled back. John whined in protest.

"You don't want this over too quickly do you?" Alex asked.

"Fair enough." John said with a nod. "You have too many clothes on." he said.

Alex laughed. "You'll just have to fix that then." he said.

John raised his eyebrows and sat up enough to pull Alex upward until they were eye to eye. He then pushed his hands underneath the waistband of Alex's boxers until they were cupping his ass, pressing Alex closer in the process. Alex gasped at the skin to skin contact and the friction.

The sound spurred John to push at Alex's boxers until they were halfway down his thighs and John could feel the other man's length settle against his own. John and Alex thrust against each other, setting a slow rhythm.

"Alexander." John gasped and clutched at his back. Their breathless moans seemed to echo through the room as they rocked against each other. John pulled Alex down for a sloppy kiss and began to move faster. Alex matched him thrust for thrust.

John never wanted this to end but he could feel himself teetering on the edge of orgasm. All it took was Alex pulling back to nip at John's earlobe to send him over it with a loud cry.

Without thinking, he reached between them. He wrapped his hand around Alex's still hard cock, slick with John's cum, and stroked him firmly. It was seconds before Alex came, shouting John's name, and rolled slightly to the side. He collapsed on the bed, chest heaving.

They laid there for several seconds, listening to the sound of each other's labored breathing as they came down from the high.

Alex chuckled. "Do you think Eliza and Ang heard us?" he asked, turning his head to look at John.

"God, I hope not." John replied, "But if they did, I'm blaming it on you."

"Me?" Alex said incredulously. "Nuh uh, you my dear Laurens, are a screamer."

John laughed, and slid a hand down his chest, grimacing when he touched the sticky mess. "We're gross, we should shower." he said.

"Together?" Alex asked, turning his head to look at John and waggling his eyebrows.

John laughed. "Only if you make me come with your mouth this time." he said a wicked gleam in his eye that made Alex shiver.

"Challenge accepted." Alex said and climbed out of bed, John close at his heels.


	16. We Start With Stars in Our Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title comes from Waving Through a Window from Dear Evan Hansen. Thanks to my beta hpfanonezillion check her out!

"Do you think they'll ever come out of there?" Angelica asked, looking down the hall toward Alex's room.

"Leave them alone." Eliza said, sipping her tea.

"It's 1:00 in the afternoon. " Angelica said. "They're going to have to eat eventually."

"Alex forgets to eat all the time." Eliza said.

"Not after that many orgasms." Angelica said.

"We don't know that's what they're doing." Eliza protested. Angelica shot her a look. "Okay, that's probably what they're doing." Eliza said.

"I'm going to go knock." Angelica said, getting up and heading toward the bedroom door. "Loudly." she added.

Alex squinted at his bedroom door angrily for a few seconds before dropping his head back down on the bed. He buried his face in John's neck.

"Maybe if we ignore her she'll go away." he mumbled.

Alex felt more than heard John's laugh. "I some how doubt that." John said. "Besides, I'm starving."

Alex sighed and nuzzled at John's neck. "Me too." He said. "Man cannot live on sex alone, I guess." he nipped at a bruise on John's neck before sitting up.

"Do you have anything I can wear?" John asked, his cheeks slightly pink.

"Of course." Alex said. He scrambled out of bed and stumbled over to his dresser. He pulled out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt at random and tossed them on the bed. "There you go."

"Thanks, babe." John said. It wasn't until he noticed that Alex had frozen in place that he realized what he'd said. "Fuck, I'm sorry." he mumbled, blushing again.

"Don't apologize." Alex said quickly, crawling across the bed toward him. He cupped John's cheek. "I like it." he pressed a kiss to John's forehead. "A lot." he kissed him on the lips next.

"Mmmm." John hummed against Alex's lips. "We'll never make it downstairs if you keep doing that."

"Would that really be so bad?" Alex asked, carding his fingers through John's hair as he spoke.

"It will be if we pass out from hunger." John said even though he was leaning into Alex's touch.

"Fine." Alex said with a sigh. He gave John one last peck on the lips before getting up.

The pair quickly dressed and slowly ventured into the kitchen. Angelica and Eliza sat at the kitchen table with identical knowing looks on their faces.

Alex aggressively ignored it. He quickly poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down. John assessed the situation for a moment before going to pour his own cup of coffee. That done, he walked over and picked up the remaining chair, placing it closer to Alex before sitting down.

"Morning, girls." John said. He grabbed Alex's free hand and laced their fingers together. He was feeling oddly confident this morning. He never knew how long a feeling like this would last so he tried to embrace it.

Eliza giggled. "Good afternoon, John." she said.

"Time to refuel?" Angelica asked.

"Time to mind your own business?" Alex said.

"Fuck you." Angelica grumbled.

John turned to Alex and grinned. "That's my job." he said and leaned in to press a sweet kiss to Alex's lips. Alex smiled dreamily at John then winked at Angelica.

"You two are gross." Angelica said.

"You're just jealous because you didn't get laid last night." John said.

"And this morning. And about an hour before we came down here." Alex said, kissing John.

"Hey!" Angelica said. "I can get laid anytime I want."

"You three be nice." Eliza said.

"Hey, where's Peggy?" Alex asked suddenly. "I figured she'd be all over this." He gestured between himself and John.

"Napping." Eliza said.

Alex raised his eyebrows. "Fuck that." he said. He hauled John up with him and the two of them made their way to the living room where Peggy was sacked out on the couch.

Alex pressed a finger against his lips and crept closer to Peggy. He crouched down beside her and moved until his mouth was right by her ear.

"Wake up, Peggy!" he said loudly enough to stir her from sleep. She sat up quickly and glared at Alex.

"You are such an ass." she said. Her expression shifted from anger to suspicion as she looked between Alex and John. Suddenly she gasped. "Did you two..?" she asked.

Alex and John both nodded. Peggy squealed and launched herself at Alex. "I knew it!" she said.

Alex fell over under her assault and he laughed. "Get off me Peg." he said. She complied, only to tackle John next.

They were interrupted by a shout from the kitchen. "Laf and Herc are here!" Angelica called. Seconds later the two boys barged into the living room. Before Alex or John could say anything they were both engulfed in a group hug.

"Congrats, mon ami!" Laf said to John.

"I won the bet!" Herc said which got a loud laugh from the whole party.

"Did you text them?" Alex asked, sending a bemused expression toward the doorway where Angelica was lurking.

"Maybe." she said, and walked over to hug them as well.

The seven of them spent the day together watching movies. Because there were so many of them, at least that's what excuse they gave, Alex settled into John's lap for the better part of the day.

"I really don't want to be one of those couples who spends all their time they are supposed to be with their friends canoodling and making eyes at each other." John said.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Do you want me to get up?" he asked, pulling away.

John tightened his grip on Alex's hip. "No way, get back here." he said. Alex laughed and settled back down.

"Will you two shut up, Mr. Darcy is about to tell Elizabeth he loves her." Peggy said crossly.

"Yeah!" Laf chimed in.

John and Alex shared a look and Alex settled his head down on John's shoulder. John rubbed a thumb across a strip of bare skin under Alex's t-shirt and they both focused on the movie.


	17. And The Die Is Cast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there has been a really long gap between chapters here and I'm sorry. My computer died on me and I had to get a new one then I had a death in my family so it's been a bit of a rough couple of months but I am back and I am going to finish this story. I hope you enjoy the new chapter and thanks so much for sticking with me! Thank you to my beta hpfanonezillon. Check her out on here and check us both out on Tumblr under the same names.

The next three weeks were amazing. John couldn't remember ever being this happy or this calm. He had the odd flutter of panic, but this was the longest he had gone without an attack in years. He spent more time at Alex's apartment than he did in his dorm room. He had begun thinking that maybe he should just move in with Alex. In fact, he was having dinner with him and trying to work out how to ask that very thing when his phone rang.

His eyebrows snapped together and he answered. "Your dad?" Alex mouthed as he said hello. John nodded.

"Hello, Son." His dad said.

"What did you want, Dad?" John asked shortly.

"Can I not call my own son without a reason?" His dad had the gall to sound offended and John scowled.

"Not usually." John said, standing up from the table. Alex watched him intently.

"Very well. I'll dispense with the pleasantries then."His father said. "I am holding a rally at Kline Park on Wednesday and I would like for you to be there."

"Fine, what time." John said, wanting this conversation to be over with as soon as possible.

"1:00." Henry said.

"I'll be there." John said and hung up, which he knew would annoy his father. "I've been summoned." he said to Alex as he dropped back down in his chair at the kitchen table.

"Where?" Alex asked.

"A political rally at Kline park on Wednesday." John said around a mouthful of food.

"Do you want me to come?" Alex asked.

"No need." John said. "I'll just go and listen to his speech and smile nice for the press and cry homework and duck out early. It will be an hour or two tops."

"Okay." Alex said with a grin. "Want to go to the movies after?" he asked. "We could get a seat in the back and make out." Alex raised his eyebrows in question.

John laughed. "Sure." he said and leaned forward to kiss Alex. He tasted like pad thai and they never did crack open the ice cream they got for dessert.

John stood behind his father on the pop up stage they had constructed in the park and tried not to tug at his collar. He felt hot and was extremely bored. His father's speech was drawing to a close but he would still have to take questions. Hopefully there wouldn't be too many.

Once the Q and A started, Henry pointed to a female reporter in a grey suit. "In the past you have been very closed lipped on your views on marriage equality, would you care to clear that up?"

John stood up a little straighter and looked at his father. Henry cleared his throat and placed his hands on either side of the podium before speaking. John saw his father's campaign manager out of the corner of his eye whispering frantically into a mic connected to an earpiece in Henry's ear.

"If you are asking me how i feel about it from a moral standpoint, then all I can say is that love, in any form you can find it, is worth hanging on to and I see no reason to prevent someone from doing that. The Marriage Equality Act is something that is long overdue to bring this country into the 21st century."

John couldn't hear anything else over the buzzing noise in his ear. "Are you kidding me?" he asked loudly enough to catch the crowd's attention. He felt his mother's hand on his arm but he ignored it and stepped forward. "Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you a little bit about this man's view of homosexuality." John snatched the microphone off it's stand. "When I was fifteen, he walked in on me making out with the captain of the soccer team. He screamed at him to get out, then told me that if I ever did anything like that again he would kick me out of the house." John began to pace the stage and he could see the security guards his dad had hired standing anxiously by.

"When it was time for my senior prom he was sure I was going to try and trick him somehow and go with a boy instead of Martha Manning so he showed up at prom. Just standing there like a thunder cloud. Martha was so upset we had to leave early and she never even got to dance." John was shaking now. He took a deep breath and continued.

"Just a few months ago he called to tell me that he was running for governor and to warn me to be discreet about my 'lifestyle' because he was afraid that if everyone found out his son was gay that it would kill his political career and now he wants you to believe this 'love is love' line? Don't. It's bullshit just like every other campaign promise he's made." John laid the mic down on the podium in front of his shocked father and stalked off the stage and to Alex's car which he had borrowed for the occasion before he witnessed the fall out.

"I fucked up." John said as soon as Alex opened the door. John was pale and Alex could feel the panic radiating off him.

Alex's eyes widened in alarm. "What happened?" he asked.

John told his boyfriend the whole story in a rush, collapsing on the couch when he was done. Alex was quiet for so long that John feared the worst.

Finally Alex spoke. "I know this is a serious, reckless thing that could have far reaching consequences and I am totally prepared to help you deal with them in a mature, adult manner. But first I have to say something."

John swallowed. "What?" he asked.

Alex grabbed John by the shirt front and gave him a short, hard kiss. "That was awesome!" he said, causing John to laugh. He found that once he started he couldn't stop and when Angelica walked in a few minutes later, she found the two of them in a heap laughing hysterically.


	18. The World Will Never Be the Same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Hamilton! Thanks to my beta and best friend hpfanonezillon! Check us both out on Tumblr and read her stuff cause she's cool! I hope you enjoy the chapter.

John's phone started ringing minutes after he retold his story to Angelica. "Don't answer it." Angelica said. "I think this calls for a strategy meeting."

"Strategy meeting?" John asked.

"Yes." Said Angelica, pulling out her phone. "I'm going to get everyone here and we're going to figure out how to handle this." she said this last bit while typing frantically. "Alex, we're going to need pizza." she said without looking up.

"I'm on it." Alex said and pulled out his own phone.

John sat and watched them work with an awed expression as his phone rang again. He reached over and set it to silent.

Once Laf and Herc arrived and Eliza and Peggy were skyped in, John brought everyone up to speed. The room was silent for a moment or two until Eliza broke it. "I'm very proud of you, John." she said softly.

"Thank you." said John.

"That was pretty badass." Peggy agreed. Laf and Herc merely nodded and clapped their friend on the back.

"So what is the plan?" Angelica asked, turning to John. "Do you think your dad will retaliate?"

John looked thoughtful for a minute before answering. "If I had done this at a dinner party, maybe, but since i did it in front of the press I'm not sure how much he can do without looking like a total prick and losing the election."

"Do you think he'll cut you off financially?" Angelica asked.

"Probably." John said hollowly. He hadn't thought of that.

"You could always threaten to go to the press if he does." Herc chimed in.

John shook his head. "I don't want to go down that road." he said.

"Well, we will make sure you're able to stay in school and have food and a place to stay." Eliza said, her grainy face set in a determined frown.

"Yeah," Alex said. "You can stay with Angelica and I instead of the dorms."

"The coffee shop where I work is hiring." Herc said. "I could put in a good word."

"And I am a master at financial aid." Peggy chirped. "I've helped half my graduating class with applications.

"Thank you guys." John said, swiping at his eyes. The rest of the group smiled at him. They ate pizza and talked about backup plans and worst case scenarios until John's head began to spin. When morning came the phone rang again and this time John answered it.

"Hello?" he said forcing his voice not to shake.  
"Just what is it you thought you were doing yesterday?" Henry said, his voice deadly calm.

"Telling the truth." John said.

"You have ruined this entire family's reputation, not to mention my chance at becoming governor." Henry said.

"No, dad." John said, his voice louder than he intended. "You did that just fine on your own. I just got tired of staying quiet about it."

Henry sputtered for a few seconds before responding. "This will not go unpunished!" he shouted, causing John to pull the phone slightly away from his ear.

"What are you going to do?" John asked. "Just exactly how do you plan to bring the hammer down without making all of this worse?"

"You won't see a dime from me ever again!" Henry said. "We'll see how you feel about your moral high ground when you have to come crawling back home with your tail between your legs!"

Alex, who had woken up somewhere in the middle of the conversation could hear Henry's shouting and snatched the phone out of John's hands before he knew what he was doing. "There is a lot of uncertainty in this world but there is one thing I can tell you with perfect confidence and that is that John will be absolutely fine without you. And that you will not be threatening him again. He may be too good of a person to go to the press with everything he knows, but I am not."

Henry laughed coldly. "What could you possibly have on me?" he demanded.

"The fact that for the past four years, your accounting firm has been working for a shipping company that has possible ties to one of the world's most notorious human trafficking operations ought to do it." Alex said, causing John to wince. How Laf had found that out he still wasn't sure.

Alex looked at him with an expression that was half trepidation half triumph. "He hung up." he said.

"He doesn't even handle that account." John said softly.

"I know but he's a full partner and he has to know they're shady. He just doesn't care." Alex said fiercely.

John sighed and dropped onto the edge of the bed. Alex crawled over and wrapped his arms around John from behind. John leaned into the embrace. "I know he's…" John trailed off until he found the right word, "unscrupulous, but he is my dad." He finished slowly. "I wish he'd been better at it."

"I do too." Alex said. "But hey." Alex maneuvered himself until he was sitting beside John and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "You turned out pretty amazing anyway."

John smiled faintly and turned his head to kiss Alex softly. "Not as amazing as you." John said, reaching up to cup Alex's jaw with one hand and kissing him more passionately. "All of you have been so great." he said when he pulled back.

Alex smiled. "You would do the same for us." he said. "Besides, you deserve it."

"You know…" John said kissing Alex again. "It's been a really stressful couple of days."

Alex hummed against John's lips in response. "We've probably got a while before the Avengers reassemble." John said, turning his attention to Alex's neck.

"Stress is really bad for you, we should definitely relieve it." Alex said, pulling John back up for a searing kiss.

They both fell back onto the bed and Alex began tugging at the waistband of John's boxers when a knock sounded at the door. "Rise and shine!" came Laf's voice from the other side of the door. "The game is afoot!"

John and Alex let out identical groans of frustration. "We'll be down in a minute." John said loudly.

"We'll just have to relieve our stress later." Alex said, grinning at John as he tugged a t-shirt down over his head.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to comment, I love feedback! I hope you liked it!


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